"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall." ~Isaiah 40:30


What's up, sweet Dragons?

I'VE BEEN GONE FOREVER. And for that, I'm sorry.

To be honest, the past year has been very... odd? Different? Strange? Confusing? But seemingly without sufficient reason??

There have been so many wonderful memories, from my first writers' conference last July to SoCalCWC this June (which I'll plan to tell you ALL ABOUT soon!) to soul-talks with da besties. I've grown stronger as a writer, more willing as a student, more confident as a person. But for some reason, growing has been hard... and there've been times I've felt entirely alone.

Then, this post from Julia @ The Barefoot Gal popped into my inbox. And you guys, I'm pretty sure it was a God moment. 💕

Busyness with school and learning how to drive and college prep and gearing up for job-hunting has just made me feel so tired, so drained. There's the constant fear of the unknown. As Julia put it: "Looking at yourself in the mirror and wondering who you are becoming is the hardest of all."

And sometimes, it feels like it's not my right to be so tired, to feel so empty. When I look at a college student with classes they adore, or a intern who's risen in the ranks, or a stay-at-home mom with a new baby, I remember that I'm young. That my adventure's just beginning. That I shouldn't be afraid, because I have no right to be.

Easier said then done.

And 100%. Not. True.


I was looking up a verse for Bible study the other day, when I stumbled upon Isaiah 40:30. It reads:
Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall.

And I paused. Then I read the full passage. In verses 28-31, Isaiah writes:
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and His understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Then Julia's words rang even truer:
"The pressure to succeed is intense. The pressure to be the only you is intense. The pressure to follow your passion or not because that's just emotion that will change... So if you're walking around feeling rather lost and broken, that isn't insanity or something. You just need to thrust yourself into company with people who honestly care about you and are willing to help you refocus... less on yourself and more on God."


On a stormy evening in October, I cracked open Nadine Brandes's latest novel, Fawkes. Last night, I finished it.

Fawkes is a story of truth and healing -- and in so many ways, it felt like God closing the lid on my draining fear. Like a rising whisper in a heavy silence, opening shades in a darkened room, an unspoken question: why have you been afraid?


Now, it's getting easier. I'm learning to trade fear for trust. Trust that God will provide, God will sustain, God will breathe life. Trust that God is the master of the universe and all creation; that all things are under His graceful hand.

Now, I think I'm ready to try this blogging thing again.

I so enjoy connecting with you all, and I can't wait to see what the last two months (TWO MONTHS??!!) of 2018 will bring. Yahweh willing, there'll be many more beyond. 💖

❤,


*All scripture quoted above from the NIV Bible.

Comments

  1. Wow. God is good. I needed this more than you realize. To put it lightly, my heart has been burdened and it's been hard to move forward. To read these verses... it makes me feel like there is hope. I know things will get better, and this has really helped me see that. It's okay to be weary. I just need to put my trust and my faith in Jesus. <3

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's awesome that you're back! I love the feeling of stumbling across something -- a post, a poem, a sentence -- that's exactly what you didn't know you needed. It's like your bones sing; it's just such a perfect moment. I can't wait to see your upcoming posts!

    Eleanor | On the Other Side of Reality

    ReplyDelete
  3. Glad to see you back, Liv. <3 Yeah, the stage of life you're in right now can be VERY draining and fear-inducing. It was rough on me at times, too. But I'm glad God is helping you through it, just like He helped me. To quote one of my favorite songs, "You've been faithful, You've been good all my days. Jesus I will cling to you, come what may. I know You're able. I know You can." That's what we've got to do. Cling to Him, come what may.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I can't believe 2018 is almost over. I need to read Fawkes!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good to see you back! <3 I completely understand taking a break, I'm about to come back from one myself. :)

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

HELLO, FRIEND! Whether you're new to the Dragoner's realm or a Dragon faithfully returning, I'M SO EXCITED TO HAVE YOU HERE. *hugs and gives you cookies*

I always make a point to respond to comments, although my replies might be a little late in the coming (thanks to that pesky li'l thing called Life™). *winks*

But again, I'm thrilled to have you here -- and commenting! All I ask is that you keep your comments clean, respectful of others, and free of spam. Comments that do not follow these guidelines will be deleted.

Feel free to drop a link to your blog; I'll be sure to stop by! <3